The Decision To Euthanize

 

No, Rowdy is still with me as of this posting. However, each day inches him closer to that decision. Twice I thought I was going to take him, but he turned around and was better for a while.

As anyone who has had, and loved a pet for it's entire life would know, making this decision, is a very difficult one. Though in some cases, some people might think it is cruel, robbing them of life, when it really is a decision made purely out of love. The truly difficult part, can be deciding when is the right time. At what point is the animal's quality of life gone. For me personally, it's the quality of life that 'is' the deciding factor.

Rowdy's best buddy, Wrigley, who was born almost two years after I got Rowdy, had to be put down last year, because his quality of life was gone. He had lost most of his vision and a good portion of his hearing and would stagger aimlessly around the room in circles, totally lost in his own mind. It was his time and I totally supported the lovely lady, who had to make that difficult decision. 

 

I have great empathy for animals, and especially for my Rowdy. I now monitor him daily, watching for the signs. I watch his physical condition, to see if he can still get around. I watch the cancer in his leg, as it is now 5+ times larger in diameter, than his normal leg, but that has not stopped him. I try to determine if he is in pain or not, though lately his breathing has become more labored. I also watch his appetite, which has for the most part been really good, but he has become more finicky over what he will eat. However, the most important measure of his quality of life, is his spirit. 

 

 

He still has strong desire to be, wherever I happen to be, and tries to follow me from room to room, even though his physical limitations may hamper that desire. He wants to go with me, every time I go anywhere in the car, even if he has to stay in the car, while I temporally leave him there to conduct business in a store, or wherever. He still gets excited over treats and will almost take your fingers off, just to grab them for consumption. He also, is partially blind and deaf, but can still mostly function in a relatively normal manor. 

 

 

So looking at all the stat's, is he bad enough now to send him across the Rainbow Bridge? Am I being selfish and cruel, keeping him around longer? Would someone take one look at his cancerous leg and say, I should have already had him put down? In my opinion, as long as he is still receiving some enjoyment from life and is receiving my love with happy enthusiasm, then I cannot rob him of that enjoyment of life. 

 

Even with all this said, I know that Rowdy will soon be crossing the Rainbow Bridge and reuniting with his buddy Wrigley. They will both be restored to health and run and play, until the time when we rejoin them.

Wow, The Tail Still Works

Rowdy has recently deteriorated, to a point where I believed his quality of life was all but gone. He just laid around mostly lethargic and had developed urinary incontinence, for which I have had a to put diapers on him for. He also appeared like he had total brain fog and was starting to lose his appetite. So I have been very close to sending him across the Rainbow Bridge.

Four days ago I noticed that he had some unnatural discharges in the diapers, so I was thinking he had an infection. I still had some antibiotics that the Vet prescribed for him a couple of years ago, and started dosing him with the remaining half of the prescription. I also pulled him off the steroids and put him back on his pain meds.

He's been on them for four days now and what a transformation. I noticed substantial improvement by the 2^nd day, as he has come back from the fog and is a little more active, even in his disabled state with the cancerous leg. He has stopped wetting his diapers, though I still leave them on and only remove them, when he goes outside to do his business. He is also more interested in his food.

To me, the most amazing and uplifting thing he did today, is he came to me with his tail wagging and it fired up wagging must faster, when I greeted him fondly. I had not seen his tail wag in over two months and I was elated at his friendly and happy gesture. It was as if my lost doggy finally returned home.

 

Our Anniversary

Edit; 1/21/2026,  I was incorrect with the beginning date of our relationship.  Rowdy was born in 2010 and I brought him home on January 1 2011, which means that I had him for 15 years, not 16 years.  So the dates in the below post, were incorrect.

 

So, January 1^st, 2026 is Rowdy's and my Anniversary. We have been together now for 16 years. In his condition, I wasn't sure he was going to make it, but he did. This did my heart good.

Over the years, I never much thought of our anniversaries. It was just always New Years Day and a day lost in the human celebrations. However this year, with his cancer and declining health, my mind has brought it to the forefront. It has also brought back memories of when he was still just a pup, that showed up on the family farm one day.

I had not thought of getting a dog, as I had never lived in a location that was suited for pets. Even though I may had been able to made it work, in most cases it was not worth the risk. However, when Rowdy came along, I now had a decent place with a fenced yard, so I could actually get and properly take care of a pet.

Showing up as a stray, we could only guess at when he was born, probably in February or March of 2009. I don't remember when he first showed up, but I was thinking around the end of June of that year. My father always had a soft spot for strays and he took Rowdy in. Based on his looks, he named him Short Stop. When I took him to be mine, I changed his name to Rowdy, reflecting his personality.

Rowdy had such an ingratiating personality, that I quickly fell in love with him. I was at the farm almost every weekend at the time, only skipping one here and there. Rowdy would run up to greet me with such happiness and enthusiasm, whenever I would clap my hands, whistle and yell out, “Hot Dog” when he came running. Since at the time, I though he was part Dachshund or wiener dog, he was my little Hot Dog. I was usually pulling a small trailer, hauling things back and forth from the farm, and he would run jump on the trailer and put his paws up on the rail, to elevate himself closer to me. These were very fond memories of his early days.

So I made the decision to bring him home with me on January 1^st of 2010, to start our life together, which is also when I started this blog. Happy Anniversary little buddy! 

 

 

Bittersweet Christmas

 

All things considered, we had a pretty good Christmas. Rowdy rested most of the time away from the noise, while tucked in the bedroom. I did however keep a close eye on him, making sure he was comfortable. The only problem I had, was that we were gone overnight for the holiday, and I forgot to bring his steroid meds, so we had to leave earlier than planned on Christmas day and I had to skip the evening dinner. I tried to pre-plan and have everything packed up the night before, but somehow I forgot about them.

This is of course is Rowdy's last Christmas. I am blessed that he made it to Christmastime, as I was not sure how long he had after the cancer diagnosis. So I was feeling a little sad during the quiet times, thinking about him and what little time he has left. I know it has been awkward for him, trying to carry around that huge cancer ridden leg.

In the photos, I only got him to sit up long enough for the one shot. The other photos I tried to take and did take, he would not stay sitting up and immediately lay back down, before I could get the camera on him. It was a little silly and funny, the way he would just lie down every time I tried to focus the camera on him, which appeared like an image of the non-cooperative pet, but he also did not have the energy to sit up very long. After several tries, I gave up and let him rest.

My Christmas gift to him, is to make him as comfortable as possible in his final days. His gift to me, is the blessing of a few more days of his companionship. 

 

 

Mixed Feelings

As I watch Rowdy struggle thru his final days, with his leg tumor increasing in size, I have been second guessing what I should do, about having the leg amputated. Weighing the options, there is only a small chance that it would be of benefit, yet I hate to see him struggle, trying to carry the bad leg while only using his other hind leg to balance himself on. I should mention that the bone cancer tumor, is not an extra growth attaching to it, but it's increasing the size of his leg bone itself.

The Vet I use, has reasonable costs for the amputation, so the money is not an issue. It is the issue of recovery, or lack there of.

Result one; Remove the leg and he does not recover.

Result two, Remove the leg and the cancer spreads quickly to his lungs.

Result three, Remove the leg and he has a difficult time recovering, if he ever does, which may add unwanted pain to his final days.

Result four, Remove the leg, he recovers well and it extends his life with a little better quality, till the end.

Doing the math, he only has a 25% chance of a better outcome, for which the odds are not in his favor. So I believe it is best to just let him continue the way he is, even though it breaks my heart to seem him struggle so much. I can see small daily transformations in his deterioration, which tells me his days are numbered.

His vision and hearing losses are adding up and he seems to struggle finding his way around the home, but still somehow seems to manage. He has not yet had another blindness episode. What I believed happened that night, was that he was lying in the seat of the car during our 30 minute drive home, with his head propped over the armrest. I think that in that position his neck pinched the optic nerve and it took the night for it to relax and restore his vision. Since then, I have been careful not to allow him lay that way, in the car.

His appetite is good, as I have been feeding him tasty food and had increased his meals from two to three per day, trying to keep some weight on him. Though I wonder if I am only feeding the tumor.

 

Not Yet

Rowdy seemed to have regained his minimal sight and was able to navigate around the house today. So I preempted his trip to the Vet. He still is somewhat blind, but regaining his mobility means that he is still okay and not ready to cross the Rainbow Bridge yet.

I have determined that he only has night blindness, as after the sun came up, his vision improved. Tonight, I am expecting for him to have trouble again, but we will see.

From now on, it will be a day to day struggle and daily determination of his health, until his time.

 

Bad to Worse

 

After almost a month, my treatment for his cancer was not successful. I actually didn't think it would be, because I was doubtful that it was going to do anything for bone cancer. It was really for other types of cancer, but I thought it was worth a try.

Rowdy has quickly deteriorated over the last month, losing a lot of weight and his vision has also been deteriorating. He has stopped eating his dry food and would only eat one meal a day with his wet food on top of it. I have been supplementing extra wet food, including adding an extra meal, and he has been eating plenty now, but still losing weight.

This evening, he all the sudden lost all his vision and is now completely blind. He is unable to function, especially with the cancer in his right rear leg, for which he can no longer walk on. Also, with a large loss of hearing too, he can only hear claps or whistles, but now hunts for where the sound is coming from. I will take him to the Vet tomorrow, however I believe his quality of life is all but gone. I will comfort him as best I can, till tomorrow.